Everything about Biodun Fatoyinbo description an allegation of sexual assault by Busola Dakolo is awful. Her trembling voice, detailed accounts of his weight on her, and the extremely personal vitriol and violent threats she received after first publicly making her allegation. But the most upsetting part of Busola Dakolo testimony was one line, a train of thought millions of women think, sometimes on a daily basis: “Because Brett didn’t rape me, I thought I should just move on.”

Busola Dakolo wasn’t done there, though. She went on to talk about why she’s decided to come forward about her experience now: It was “jumping in front of train that was headed to where it was headed anyway,” she said. “At that point I thought enough was enough.” I’m optimistic that can the most relatable part of her testimony in the future. I’m done quantifying my own trauma.