Tunde and I met a year after I resume work with the company I worked for before my current job.I am a graduate of Botany, I also had my MSc immediately I completed  my Youth service.

 I was raised in a good Christian family with sound moral up bringing. I believe this contributed immensely  to why I was still intact before I met my husband. my parents have been happily married for as long as I have known them.

Tunde, was not my dream man, but since he was the only guy that seems a bit committed among all those hanging around me, I had to give in to him, besides, I have been facing a lot of pressure from my parents especially my mum. I was already approaching 28years old.

The challenges started during our courtship, but because I was naive, I didn’t see anything wrong. For instance, when, Tunde was to rent a place, he asked me to contribute to the rent, when he was to equip the apartment he also asked I should do this and do that. Which I obliged. My dad even called to warn me, but I went against his word.(Pls spinsters be warn.if a man wants to marry you, let him do the needful, at least before you move in)

Immediately, after our wedding, my husband behaviour started changing. The up keep allowance, he slash into two. When I asked why, he warn me never to try it again, asked if am not earning enough to take care of the house. I actually thought maybe it because of inflation and that he might have some future plans, like investment. Few weeks later, he gotba better job, with over 200% increase in salary. But rather for things to improve in the house, they rather got worse. Rather than getting increase in allowance, the little he was bringing was not consistent anymore. My birthday with come and go, same with our anniversary, but my husband will never get me a gift.
There was this fateful evening i came home early than expected because i was not feeling too well, i was amazed to see my help with a tight fitted new jeans which sh didnt have before, and i know I did not buy it for her, so I enquire how she got it. But she said Uncle Tunde referring to my husband gave her.See me see wahala.I wanted to give her the beating of her life, but restrained myself. By the time I finished with her I discovered he even gave her money too.

That evening  I confronted him(Tunde) that evening, he was mad, saying how dare me, ask him, that he observed she didn’t have clothes, so he bought her some. I knew water don’t pass garrison. Quickly the next day, i sent her packing. That evening when my husband came back and discovered she was gone, he started showing anger in everything I do.
That weekend, when I asked for money for weekend. I said he didn’t have. I told him I also don’t have a dime with me. So, he left, on getting back and asked for his food, Before I could  simply reply I didn’t cook because I had nothing on me, I had received a sound slap. I felt like tunder, I saw star.
Next day I ran to my parents, and explain what happened, they simply replied I should have borrowed and made his food.

From that day, I never got a penny from him, paying of my children fees, cooking and so much.the financial burden became enormous. Some, times, he will not touch me for months. The slightest thing I do or say provokes him. The beating became frequent, I feared for my life, to the point I don’t even say a word when he is talking.

I started to loose my self esteem. Thinking something was wrong with me. At a point in time, I thought I had offended God and he was punishing me. Why because, Tunde was making more money. Changing jobs. I mistakenly stumble on a duplicate CPV, domestic allowance for a particular month N350k.
We had 3 cars, but he doesn’t allow me to drive any. Besides, I had to use okada , at time taxi when taking our kids out.
This continue for almost 5 years. I was in h3ll on earth in my marriage, I cried everyday, my boss was always consoling and counseling me. I prayed like Hanah in the bible yet it looks like God himself was against me.

 The very first company Tunde, worked after he left the company where we met was a stone throw from my parents place. But he hardly visit. In shut, for the two years he spent there, he never visited my family.

One day I got home and met Tunde at home. I couldn’t ask why he was early, it was after few days I got to know he was sacked as this was obvious.soon days became months. Everyday, I hear him fighting and shouting on the phone.

Before, I knew what was happening my hubby has spent nine months at home. Firstly, I discovered, he was now unbelievably calm, soft spoken, and helping out with the house shores, besides, he was not keeping late nights again .Offering to drop the kids in school, evening bathing them in the morning. One morning, as I was about leaving the house, he  walked up to me as gentle as a dove and asked if i could assist with the our rent that the land lord threatened to throw us out.
As time went by discovered that all his friends who enjoyed his money had all left him, most especially lady, he would do or go anywhere for. I recall any occasion where he was to take me and the kids somewhere, just at the eleventh hour he called we should find our way there. We took okada and ended up having an accident but God protect us that only the bike man was injured. I later found out he took Bimbo the lady out.

Just few days I got an offer for another job in a multinational company. My husband has been offering to also be dropping me off at work along with the kids. Sincerely, I don’t feel anything for him anymore. He neglected me for several years.Abused me physically, emotionally, psychologically. I almost ran mad, at a time I contemplated suicide. But for my kids….

What didn’t this man do to me? Was it the one he asked me to go to the back sit so Bimbo could sit in front on an occasion, or is it  those few times he touched me when he was drunk. He would just throw himself at me and force me without even considering my state of mind(tear dropping).I can go on & on. But God say my pains, and rescued me.

Madam Jzhane, though he has been apologizing that’s the devil. Am scared, I don’t know what to do. He is still like a stranger to me.
I need you help plsss!

Judith,
Agege.


www.livelystones.com.ng